Sulky Stew

February 26, 2009 by  
Filed under Smokos' Snacks and Hangovers, Sulky Stew

We have all heard about the so-called “Hairs of the Dog” recipe’s for morning after cures of alcoholic indulgences. How some blokes rave on about raw eggs with Worcestershire sauce and tomato juice and vodka, well this is one that has been perfected over the years by Hully and may come in handy.

What you need:

  • Hangover
  • Swag
  • Dog

What you do:

Wake up well after sunrise, in fact wake up when the sun is high and has been blasting down on your swag for a couple of hours so that when you finally “come to” you have lost a gallon of sweat, and your throat is as dry as the Strezlecki Track. The cockatoo’s will no doubt choose this moment to gather and screech with laughter at your pain, while the wedge tails will be circling you way up high in the sky, sensing another desert dehydration victim is imminent.

Stagger blindly to the nearest leaning post and get a good grip on it with one hand while you empty even more precious liquid from your bladder. Ponder how it could be at all possible to be so dry this morning when you drank so much liquid last night.

Attack the esky in search of any non-alcoholic liquid, barring vinegar, (a lethal mistake once made by Ron, to the amusement of the whole camp), take a long hard swig then head for the nearest dog and give him a kick for good measure.

Then drag your swag back under the nearest shady tree cursing all the while your so called mates, who in your belief are totally responsible for your present state. Swear off all further communication with them for life and then crawl back into the swag where you spend the rest of the day dozing, waking only briefly to sulk a bit more before slipping back into a death like sleep.

Tricks & Tips:

Always work out where the shade is going to be in the morning and plant your swag there before crashing. Also remember to keep an esky with cold water no more than an arms length from your swag. Make sure you kick someone else’s dog.

Rating:

Death could be a serious alternative and should be contemplated

Share