Burnt Duck

On the big jobs in the bush, tempers can be measured in direct correlation to temperature and hours of work. The longer and hotter it is, the shorter the tempers become. Usually there is no problems, everyone is doing it as tough as the man beside him, but there is one thing that can bring total anarchy in a bush camp, and that is a bad cook.

Where a good camp cook will have a tired but nourished and happy crew, a bad one will have the whole crew plotting cruel and slow methods of murdering him during the entire working day. It some how seems to work out that the worse the cook the better the bloody fighter he is.

Sometimes a small riot can be started simply from a poor old honest cook making a simple mistake and stuffing up the main meal for a camp full of tired hungry tough bushies.

What you need

• A camp full of tired hungry tough bushies
• A big heap of fat juicy black ducks
• A fire
• A camp oven 
• A pub near by

What you do

Go to great lengths to prepare the duck, arrange them into the camp ovens, shovel heaps of coals around them and “duck in” (no pun intended) to the local pub for a “quick one” before the men knock off.

On arrival at the pub, promptly forget the time and get plastered. Arrive home two and a half hours late and lift the camp oven lids to find what resembles bush fire victims where the ducks used to be.
Then run like hell and don’t go back, ever!

Tricks & Tips

When you first realise how late you are, stay in the pub, don’t even go back for your pay, just look for another job and be thankful your still alive and not nailed to a tree with your skinning knifes.

Rating

Better to do ten rounds with Tyson.